I walked downstairs struggling to plan my Deb day. What did I want to do when I am not catching up on school work? This was a challenging question for me. I don't think of teaching as work or even a career, but teaching is my purpose. I feel my best in a classroom with children. I have always loved being with children and helping children; it's who I am. Putting this aside is like denying myself a part of me. But I have been doing "Mrs. Frazier" for several days straight! I honestly can't remember the last time I said no to school work for an entire day.
Our new empty nest and my husband's chronic back pain have made staying at home and doing school work easy. Besides when I am working on school related task I am not cleaning, grocery shopping, or any other household chore I dislike. That's a win in my book! So I made myself some tea and toast and sat on the couch and watched bridal shows. When my husband got up a bit later, we chatted about the day, folded laundry and paid a few bills.
I headed up to the shower telling Tim I was going to go out and do some shopping. I was shocked when he said he was coming along! We both love to shop, but with his back pain, he tires too quickly to keep up with me. When we go shopping together, the trips have become short. Tim's the one who pointed this out. He said if he needs to do errands, he prefers we split to get them done. This way he can move at a pace that is comfortable for him, and I can move at a speed that is comfortable for me.
So today was going to be a compromise, we were going together to the mall, and when we got there, we would each go to the stores we choose and then meet back up. The plan worked out better than I would have thought. Tim was happy to be out (and yes shopping) he was bearing his pain better than most days. We decided to end the afternoon with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. We had an excellent dinner and conversations. I could tell Tim's discomfort was progressing as we ate, but he pushed through. After we had finished, we grabbed some dessert to go and headed home. So now as I slice he's resting his back in his man cave. We will resume our date in about an hour when he's rested up, and I've got my slice and those of my student's posted.
My slice is most likely boring to read, and if you've made it this far, thanks! But I needed to write about our day. We are adjusting to chronic pain and an empty nest and today I saw a glimpse of better days to come. Thanks for reading and thank you, Tim, for pushing through and making this a great Deb day, I love you!
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This sounds like such a perfect day! I am so glad you kept your promise to yourself and focused on family and home. I can hear in your words just how rejuvenated you feel.
ReplyDeleteThis was definitely not boring to read.. I am also empty nesting and find it so easy to bury myself with work, (like you, because I love and identify with it). Loved reading about your day and find comfort in it.
ReplyDeleteDeb,
ReplyDeleteThere is quite a bit of emotion in your post. And, yes, I easily made it to the end as I connected with the place you are in - empty nesting and trying to refrain from doing school work on a Sunday.
The emptiness of the nest is painful in the beginning. Years two and three come along and a newness begins. Your husband and you begin rituals that were lost years ago. You find the little things in each other that you'd forgotten with all that child raising.
And, then, the children sometimes come trickling back home and upset the apple cart.
Loved your post fellow empty nester and chronic teacher worker person.
I know how hard it is for you to let go of the "School Deb" and give time to the "Personal Deb". Good for you! You need a balance and this was a great example. Tomorrow we will be back at it, but enjoy what is left of your "Deb Day".
ReplyDeleteDeb, I wish I had taken the day off! With report cards and conferences coming up, along with the usual piles of papers, I spent my whole day working, and doing laundry. Being an empty nester does make it more challenging to draw lines. Glad you were able to stick to your plan for a Deb day!
ReplyDelete