Monday, March 5, 2018

My Changing Family SOLSC Day 5


For the month of March, I'll be writing with all you in the Slice of Life community.  Disclaimer:  I'll be writing every day so the writing will be raw and a bit messy most days.  

I have lived most, if not all of my professional career feeling as if an imposter and will be found out any day. But I never thought this feeling of not being confident and in the know would creep into my family life.

I know this sounds crazy to say, but lately, I feel as if I might be an imposter in my family.  How did we get to be the family that lives in three different states?  How did we get to the family that spends more time apart than together?  How did we get to be the family that time together is rare and not commonplace?

When I see our daughters, it’s like we’ve never been apart. So why then don’t I recognize every piece of clothing they wear?  Why am I surprised when they order something new off the menu?  Why am I surprised when one daughter's hair smells like peaches and the other's like mangos?  Aren’t they sharing the bottle if coconut shampoo I put in their shared bathroom?

I remember when I moved out of my family home and when I returned suddenly all the years of my parent's lives were carved into their faces. Do our daughters now see my husband and I this way?  Are all the years of our lives carved into our faces?  Are we strangers to our daughters?

We are so proud of our girls, and  we are so happy they have these lives full of opportunities and promise.  I just wish that it didn’t have to cross state lines.

9 comments:

glenda funk said...

There's a paradox in your post: We want our children to remain in our home while simultaneously recognizing they must find their way in life. It's really tough, and I can't say it gets easier, this passage of time. I have two grown boys, and they are both familiar and unfamiliar to me.

Amy Rudd said...

I'm sure I'll know this life experience at some point. I'm already going a little crazy with a newish teen in the house...I wish you could have it both ways but maybe the fun thing is, it will give you new reasons to travel and places to visit.

Time flies when you're having fun...most moms with older kids than mine say, "Don't blink. They grow up too fast."

Maria said...

AHHHH you're speaking my story Deb. Now we need to figure out a trip for both of us to Charleston, SC to love on our girls.

Ellen said...

Oh My Gosh - I teared up reading this. Very poignant - your words expressed many of my thoughts so clearly and with such heart. I'm in the same boat. Thank you for sharing.

Peg D said...

"All the years of our lives carved into our faces." So relatable, even though our youngest doesn't graduate high school until June. It's coming and I'm not sure I'm ready.

Rose Cappelli said...

As they always say, change is not always easy. But it brings new opportunities and experiences that can be fresh and exciting. Every new stage of family life is full of possibility! Good luck.

Mandy said...

I read a sad heart here and loved all your questions. Each one I had to stop and think about. Several of them I don't know if I would of thought of yet even though I have one in college and another getting ready to go. I think my stage is the in-between stage - still in college in the same state period and I don't know if I want to go to your stage, I'm out there on my own. But I will remember this post that day and think Deb did it, so can I.

Mindi Rench said...

We are starting the college search process with my older daughter. This post hit me square in the gut. I'm not ready for her to leave, but I know she needs to fly.

Karen said...

Deb - This is such a poignant post. I am aware of the changes in my daughters, but I never flipped that to think about how they might be aware of the changes in us. I'm glad you've had the opportunities lately to visit both of them and spend time, but it really is never the same, is it?